Guys

My generation uses the word "guy" to mean "person" especially in the form "you guys." I have a plastic box marked "guys" in my son's toy cabinet that is filled with little rubber dinos, sharks, and cartoon characters of both genders. So when a woman from my church pointed out to me a couple of years back that "guy" is actually NOT gender neutral, I was skeptical, and almost dismissed her point since the usage is so widespread, but I hung on to her challenge and have been chewing on it ever since.

I was only a little girl when our church hymnal was reprinted to include gender neutral language. This was back in the day when people used the word "Man" when they wanted to say "Human" or "Humanity." To my young ears this was preposterous. Man means an adult male person. Duh. How anyone could say that it was gender-neutral was beyond me. Recently I remembered how hard the feminists of my mother's generation worked to get across the idea that "Man" and "Person" were not the same word.

When one looks up Guy, one finds that the use of the word to refer to people of all genders is not primary. The first definition is "Man"

Hmmm.

Suddenly I realized I am not going to be able to use the word "guy" any more without feeling weird about it. This is especially tricky when one is talking with folks whose gender is in transition, or has been a cause of some pain or discomfort. When someone has transitioned from male to female after a long hard struggle, maybe the word "guy" doesn't honor that journey. Ouch. I wonder how long it will take me to switch over from "guys" to "folks". Or maybe an old fashioned y'all would feel more inclusive. I'm going to have to get a jar to stick a quarter in each time I screw up until I get it right.