A Rupture in the Circle

Jerome Berryman writes about how each person has a Circle of Meaning, and that from time to time throughout our lives the circle is ruptured. Sometimes this gap comes from new information, growth or inquiry. Other times it is broken in a more violent way, like the rupture that happened to so many of us after 9-11 or following the death of a loved one.

Around the time of my ordination into the ministry, I had what felt like a really cohesive and strong Circle of Meaning. Everything fit together in such an elegant way that I delighted in the beauty of our universe.

I noticed things starting to come unraveled around the time I went on my sabbatical. It was like pulling a little lose thread and following it, not realizing that what had been a perfectly good sweater was now a half sweater and a tangle of yarn. In Creation Spirituality they speak of this kind of rupture or unraveling as the Via Negativa, the spiritual path of emptying out, of being scrubbed clean before true creation can begin (again).

Here's the few inches of thread I've just unraveled. It turns out trying to change the world is not all I thought it would be. The world pushes back in ways you didn't expect. It's slow and hard to see.

What I can see are the daily cycles. The weekly, monthly, yearly cycles. The cycle of a whole life. In those cycles keeping the family traditions makes a huge difference. A daily yoga practice, football on Sundays, bedtime stories at 9:00 -- these are the pillars of my life. Cultivating, witnessing, honoring these cycles and landmarks have really attracted my attention and affection recently.

Today in SpiritPlay I brought little 8x8" towels that I cut from 2 bath towels last night. They sat in neat pink and white stacks near the "hands" and "trays" water buckets. How nice to have as many little towels as you need to dry your hands, trays or the floor. They really are good at their job those towels. My co-teacher and I reflected on how the Montessori style room is "all about the gear" creating an environment where children can enjoy the act of cleaning up their own work (while the teachers battle the urge to do it ourselves). Once again several children spent longer cleaning up than working with clay or paint. And I begin to wonder- maybe the Buddhists are right. Maybe it's all about doing the dishes and pouring the tea. I wonder...