When you meet the Buddha in the Road...

About 8 years ago I brought this Buddha candle to a gift-swap with my minister's group. About 7 years ago I scored this Buddha candle in the same gift-swap (my colleague had brought it back, wrapped with a pretty bow and barely stifling a grin)

I decided the big 4-0 was as good a time as any to burn it.

I remember the first time I saw a Buddha candle burning; it was at a fellow seminarian's house-party before I had really studied much Buddhism. I was so surprised to see a sacred image burning that I must have said something out loud. My host replied "oh, I think you have to burn a Buddha candle."

So I found myself this past weekend surrounded by friends burning the Buddha. One seemed surprised by this seemingly sacrilegious act, so I tried to explain about the doctrine of impermanence, about the sand mandala ritual (which lead to much reminiscing about the time we watched Tibetan monks destroy the sand mandala they had been building for days during the Tibetan Freedom Concert while "Rage Against the Machine" played barely audible beyond the chanting of the monks- hey it was my birthday I'm allowed a little nostalgia.) My partner and I both tried to explain the Buddhist Koan "If you meet he Buddha on the road, kill him" before finally resuming the non-theological aspects of the party.

In a whole night of festivities, we got only as far as the eyes. I find this hopeful; life impermanent in nature, but it's often a slow burn.

Wealth

We've all been worried about money. I'm guessing just about everyone in the country has had to cut back, or at least has lost some sleep worrying about job security or retirement plans. Goodness knows if you've got any credit-card debit right now all those lenders are putting the screws to already tenuous households. It's the worst recession in 40 years they say.

Last night a member of my congregation told us of the time during the great depression that his father was out of work for many months. They had no money for heat or money for food, so they rigged up the coal stove so that they could use the little coal they had for warmth and for cooking. Once a day the family had a bowl of rice with a little curry powder as weeks went by without work.

Suddenly everything popped into perspective for me. The house is warm, there is food in the refrigerator. There were presents under the tree at Christmas. I am wealthy beyond all reason.

Someday

"And I'm going to be 40!"
"when?"
"[sob] Someday!"

In 1989 "When Harry Met Sally" came out, and I thought this was hilarious. Well Someday is close at hand. In just over a week I'll be 40 for real. It feels okay so far... ever since I was a kid I've felt like I was middle-aged at heart, so I guess I'm hitting my prime. Throughout my 20s I worried that mid-life would be boring, but somehow I don't mind cleaning, because it's my very own home. I don't mind staying in on Friday night, because I like just hanging out at home (our cozy hobbit-hole that we love) with my husband and son. And I don't mind spending so much of my life working because I love my job and felt such a strong calling to ministry that I spent 4 years in grad school and am still paying on the student loans. I chose this life, I worked hard for this life, and happily I spend enough time in my 20s and 30s dancing around burning sculpture in the Black Rock Playa or tangled in some kind of little yoga knot that I'm ready for something hew. Sure I miss the days of the Cyber Ball, sure it takes me longer to get into and out of some asanas, and my days of the bikini are gone for good, but I think I'm ready as I'll ever be for 40.

At any rate, I sure am going to take advantage of this great excuse to party.