When my son was very little, he would open a gift, and become so engaged he would only emerge a half hour later from the bliss of a new toy. As he grew up I noticed how adults encourage kids to open them all at once, because our adult attention span cannot sustain the hours it would take to open all the gifts at a birthday or other holiday if the child actually used and appreciated each one. "Aunt Martha has to go, quick, open her gift" When my son was very young he actually went on strike "no more gifts!" We had to save some for the next day. Now standard Birthday protocol at it's most polite is that all gather round, rip of wrapping, display gift, say thank you, set gift aside. It is rude to open a gift as it is handed to you. It is rude to play with a gift right after opening it. One delays gratification so one's guests don't get bored.
Buddhist teacher Thich Nhat Hanh has a wonderful book called Miracle of Mindfulness in which he writes..."[Jim] popped a section of tangerine in his mouth and, before he had begun chewing it, had another slice ready to pop into his mouth again. He was hardly aware he was eating a tangerine. All I had to say was, "you ought to eat the tangerine section you've already taken."
How would opening presents look if we were really mindful? If we really "ate" each one as we opened it? Might our children feel "full" after unwrapping their pile of gifts? Might Aunt Martha not be proud to see her nephew enjoying his gifts so completely, even if hers was still in it's wrappings waiting? How might American culture be different if we taught our children to enjoy the present mindfully, instead of teaching them to consume?
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I am so glad to hear all this. My family's tradition was to sit in a circle and open a present one at a time. If I wanted my mom to open hers from me first, and it was her turn then I could get up and it to her. So excited. We would all watch her open her gift with hugs, kisses and thank yous following. Who would go first? We went in order of age in either direction. I never knew until I was first married to DW that not everyone did this. I actually cried the first time I witnessed a present massacre with no recognition at thoughtfulness or even a thank you.
Maybe woogie experienced a similar feeling of invisibility when he called it off. I did too for a while.
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